I always wonder what God has planned for Brody. Little guy, are you ever going to grow? Are you going to be my tiny guy forever? It's stressful to think that in just a few short months Wesley will be outgrowing Brody. What does that do psychologically to an older brother, to have his baby brother outgrow him so fast?
I always wonder what God has planned for Brody.And lately the stress of having a child that falls below "normal" is really getting to me. It's not just that he doesn't talk, that I have to decipher grunts to determine what it is that he wants, it's watching all the other moms with their "normal" kids and wishing mine would be too.
I'm completely jealous.
I'm jealous of moms that dont have to shred their 2 year olds' food into tiny morsels because their child has teeth and molars and my child doesnt. I'm jealous of moms that dont have to hoist thier 2 year old up on to every structure at the park, I'm jealous that their kids can play independently and mine needs constant help. I'm so jealous of parents that can let their kids play, while I have to constantly watch mine because he is so small he could so easily get hurt. I'm so jealous of moms that dont have to constantly field the "what's wrong with him?" question. I get asked that question daily. And lately it's been every single time we go out. "Why is he so small?" "Oh my gosh, he's 2?" "He must have been a preemie." "Look at that baby! Watch him! He walks!" "Well this is my 2 year old, he's HUGE!" Thanks. Because pointing out just how big your 2 year old is makes me feel that much better.
I can't wait for those questions to end.
But I've realized that in the process of eagerly anticipating the day that people no longer stop me and my family when we go out to ask me some rude question that I am really rushing along my baby's "baby time." I never just sit back and enjoy the fact that my Brody still fits easily on my hip. And in the crook of my shoulder by my head. And nuzzled against my chest. He's still my little baby and I need to let this whole mess of what size clothes he wears go. Just let it go. He's my sweet little guy, full of personality, no matter what size the tags on his clothes say.
